In a recent post, Dr. Linda Henman wrote about what set John McCain apart as a leader and a teacher. Here I select a few attributes of McCain to show how he was also a model of ethical leadership for those of us in the corporate world.

• Civility must define leadership. We must use radical empathy to realize that others have a good reason to behave the way they do. We often don’t know their history and the context of their current life. Sometimes, they themselves don’t understand why they do what they do. By accepting that they are as they are, we can treat everyone with civility.
• You can disagree without being disagreeable. We do this by taking the time to understand the other and by deploying kindness. Once people feel understood, they are more likely to accept that someone else might see things differently. Ask good questions, rephrase what you’ve heard to make sure you understand, and then politely explain your point of view.
• Refuse to be a victim. Life might be random but it’s not unfair. All of us will have a bad boss, will get laid off, or won’t be recognized for our good work at some point. None of it is bad unless we think it so. As Marcus Aurelius said, “Choose not to be harmed and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed and you haven’t been.”
• Have a sense of humor. We do serious work but that’s not a reason to take ourselves too seriously. If we remember that not much matters other that family, friends and health, it’s easy to laugh at the “problems” we face. Most of us know people who have suffered tragic losses and still kept their sense of humor. My dad, who came within inches of losing his life to cancer, used to quip “Other than my cancer, I’m in great health!” Now, I’m not saying that humor saved his life. But it certainly help him and those around him during the difficult years.

John McCain was an extraordinary individual who practiced his philosophy every day. Even in death, he remains a great role model.

Whenever someone has done wrong by you, immediately consider what notion of good or evil they had in doing it. For when you see that, you’ll feel compassion, instead of astonishment or rage. For you may yourself have the same notions of good and evil, or similar ones, in which case you’ll make an allowance for what they’ve done. But if you no longer hold the same notions, you’ll be more readily gracious for their error.”

– Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 7.26

At 49 years old, I have made enough mistakes to recognize in the mistakes of others one of my own. At times, this awareness helps me realize that the other person’s wrongdoing hasn’t hurt me at all. I can let go without a word spoken, without a gesture made.

In the workplace, we cannot always quietly forgive wrongdoers and wish them well on their way. We have a duty of care to the organization and its stakeholders. However, we can remember the words of Marcus Aurelius when deciding on the appropriate discipline, and be mindful that the very act of discipline we decide upon will be viewed by others as good or evil.

The ancient Stoics would practice their response to unpleasant situations in advance. From the possibility of meeting a rude person to the certainty of their own death, they would rehearse the event so as to be better prepared to respond with virtue.

In the corporate world, we know that conflict is inevitable yet few of us truly prepare for it. But what if we rehearsed our response to a colleague asking us to punch his time card so he can sneak out early? Or our response to a boss asking us to work on the weekend without claiming overtime? To an inspector asking us to falsify test results? To a government official asking us to hire her nephew during contract renewal negotiations?

There’s a reason we keep our soldiers combat-ready in peacetime. Why not prepare our employees for the conflicts we know they are going to face one day?

“Crimes often return to their teacher.”

-Seneca, Thyestes, 311

“Bloody instructions, which, being taught, return / To plague th’inventor.”

-Shakespeare, Macbeth

The ethics & compliance professional would do well never to recommend an illegal or unethical course. Evidently.

She would do well also never to look the other way when such a course is taken. Doing so allows the perpetrator to blackmail her later on – or worse.

And perhaps she should avoid any employer who seems only to tolerate her advice, lest she is willing to suffer a fate akin to Seneca’s at the hands of Nero.

“Meditate often on the interconnectedness and mutual interdependence of all things in the universe. For in a sense, all things are mutually woven together and therefore have an affinity for each other – for one thing follows after another according to their tension of movement, their sympathetic stirrings, and the unity of all substance.”

– Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 6.38

This quote is from today’s entry in The Daily Stoic. Ryan Holiday, the author, follows with an observation from Anne Lamott that “all writers are little rivers running into a lake”. He offers that what is true for writers is also true in many industries, “though sadly, even inside the same company, people selfishly forget they’re working together.”

Many ethics & compliance professionals experience this disconnect within their organization. Who among us hasn’t complained about HR’s secrecy, or neglected to partner with Learning & Development? One day we think we can go at it alone and the other we’re frustrated by Operations ignoring us.

Perhaps today we would do well to ask, at the outset of a task or project, “Who else is affected by my work?” For certainly we will start a chain reaction that will go full circle and affect us sooner or later.